Making Sense of Complications

Turning 24 in less than 24 hours: Moving On (my take on the Art of Letting Go) Challenge by Arra Abella of Style Reader. These are snippets of my 23 yo life.

1. On Adulting


Three days before my birthday, I had to rush myself to the ER cause I was having an allergic reaction to dust. Hives took over my body, I was feeling hot, and my throat started to constrict. I got a shot of Steroids and several antihistamine shots on IV. Now as I type this, I am stuck in the lobby of the place I moved in cause I left my keys inside, waiting for my roommates to come back and save me. My antihistamine meds are starting to take effect, so take a good look because this will probably end in a public fail.

2. Going out and getting 21st-birthday-style drunk


I am so #blessed to have friends who are like me who make sure

  1. That everyone is having fun;
  2. That no one is being taken advantage of, and;
  3. That everyone gets home safely

Let’s be honest, we have real-world responsibilities now that come with real-world stress. This will always be a good excuse to drink.

BTW A drunk friend is a responsibility, not an opportunity

3. On that ‘Quarter-life Crisis’ Issue


One of my pet peeves has to be the fact that people blame everything on something else. We tend to make external attributions just so we can get away with shit. WHY? Because this is a lot easier than accepting the fact that you are wrong and blaming it for something that will and can fix us. But what it actually does is shield us from the reality that we are supposed to be facing.

My actions would usually be a reaction to something. WE ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL LOST, but we should be responsible for our actions and what happens after that. We can’t always blame someone or something for the things that we do. We are actually lucky to have the satisfaction of not knowing what the heck we are doing.

Okay, so my issue here is that I’m looking for a challenge. Something that will stimulate my brain, my senses, and my life!! There is nothing wrong with liking to be busy. I like feeling purposeful.

4. My Unread Notifs

K Fine, there’s more than one.

The number of ways a person can reach and communicate nowadays is overwhelming. I am known among friends to be someone who is particularly hard to get a hold of, until recently. More than a hundred unread notifications on my phone, 10 plans I missed, 4 birthday parties I’ve never been to, and around 3 angry friends. YEPP.

5. On Being the Most Reliable Person Ever


Being kind goes a long way, but don’t let people treat you like shit.

Having a big heart and believing in big love. Where do I draw the line? Sometimes we try so hard to be good that we are not actually happy.

5. Why I’m Terrified to Let People In


  • A part of me stays guarded, even in relationships.
  • People grow apart.
  • I try to find reasons why something won’t work instead of how it will work
  • Or maybe I’m in a rush to fall in love
  • I might even tell myself that I don’t actually deserve to be happy
  • To show you a weakness is to let you in on where I’m vulnerable
  • I’m not 19 anymore!!
  • Cool, cool

I’m afraid of losing before I’ve even lost anything at all. But nobody’s really afraid of losing anything. We’re actually scared to death of never having it in the first place. But as I see it, the closest way to feel connected to another person is to be open about your greatest fears and insecurities. He is going to smell differently from the one before. Embrace it! That scent will become home eventually and this scares me. But I’ll hold on to it.

“But you see, I didn’t want to be alone anymore, not because I was lonely, but because this incredible alternative miraculously materialized out of thin air.

If it feels too good to be true, it is – unless it isn’t.” – Ted Pillow

6. On Being Hypersensitive and Whatnot


I took a scratch test earlier which suggests that I have an allergy to House Dust, more importantly, to DUST MITES. YUPP! So the doctor gave me three things: a list of House Dust Control Measures, my meds for the next month, and his card with emergency anti-allergy meds attached to the back. This is the first time I went to the ER without my parents, and it made me feel proud and horrified at the same time.

I moved out of the house recently and as much as I’m enjoying myself, the freedom is overwhelmingly scary. So here’s the question: What do you do when you have more time?

You get the idea. This article is for crazy me trying to quantify and qualify my life so far. 

Other than having to sweep and mop the floor, to buy my own food and to take out the trash, I’m stricken with terror that one day I’ll wake up and maybe ruin everything.

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What I’m trying to say is 23 has to be the most liberating age that has ever happened to me (yet) and I can’t wait to seize this opportunity to be a better me next year.

But if there’s one thing I learned while writing this, it would have to be:

“You are not the sum of what you aspire to, you are the sum of what you do each day.”



Thanks for actually making me think, Arra Abella of Style Reader. It took me a while to sort through my experiences, and then my emotions, and then myself, to come up with this list. I think one of the main realizations I had this year (so far) is that you always have a choice. ALWAYS. And it’s yours.

Life is too short for a long story, but there’s a lot to do in this life, and it can be pretty exhausting, so take a step back, relax and chill. 🙂

  1. Pace yourself, life is not a contest


I have always lived by the idea of actually doing things than waiting for them to happen. A nagging feeling that I needed to do everything at once, such as planning my life, experiencing everything, getting to the top, figuring life out, and finding my purpose. I got so fixated that I ended up burning myself up, forgetting that I still have my life ahead of me.

I am 23 years old and I definitely do not need to rush things. I am young and I could actually afford failures. Plan. Execute. Enjoy.

2. You can’t please everyone


Social Media has proven to empower people with the throng of voices continually shouting about their unverified facts and reckless, aggressive and abusive comments. Simply commenting your stand on a certain issue can guarantee you one of two things, a flock of support, or death threats from random strangers. I have learned to actually use the Unfollow and Unfriend feature on Facebook BECAUSE one less friend is one less person encouraging their attention-seeking ways.

While it is normal to seek that feeling of belongingness, it shouldn’t be at the expense of your integrity, happiness, and values. One day, all will be forgotten, and that’s good news because there’s absolutely no reason to not be the person you want to be.

3. … and you can’t force friendships


but that’s okay. Not everyone is your friend, and not everyone will do good by you. Oftentimes, people are present in your life just because it is convenient.

‘True friendship isn’t about being inseparable, it’s about being separated and nothing changes’

Paulo Coelho once said, “Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead anywhere.

4. Stop making excuses for failure!!


One thing that pisses me off these days would be to hear the excuse, ‘I’m a millennial, so it’s okay for me to make stupid shit’. NO. We are adults, and we need to take responsibility for our actions. Our generation makes too many excuses and it has to stop.

Burnouts are so common in our industry, but that doesn’t entitle us to fuck up and to forget about your priorities. Let’s not forget that we are actually working with other people, who have their own lives to think about.

5. ..and saying sorry is not always enough

Sometimes, you actually have to change. ‘nuff said!

6. Working out is good for you!


It helps you sleep better, compels you to eat healthy (or I at least try to), and builds and maintains your muscles, bones, and joints! HAHAHA. Going to the gym actually gave me more confidence, losing a lot of weight, and gaining toned muscles, strength, and stamina! This also helped in relieving my  stress and anxiety!

Thank God we now have a gym in the office! ❤

7. You don’t have to win everything

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Never despise yourself for your losses, because you needed them to learn! Winning is challenging you to be better. I read a quote somewhere that goes like this, ‘Mistakes can turn you into something better than you were before.’ It’s okay! Again, we have our lives ahead of us.

8. Overthinking leads to negative thoughts


And more often than not, it leads to self-destruction and unwanted actions. So STAHP EET!!

9. Polite boys are so much more attractive!


Stop going for the broken-selfish-douchefaces, they will just take you down with them.

10. And finally…

I think I like who I’m becoming. 🙂 HIHI.


The best time for new beginnings is now. So go!